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Joke of the Day

"When I'm away from my girlfriend, I feel incomplete... ... But I love it when we're together again, because she makes me feel hole."

"It's like my cat doesn't even appreciate it when I take the time to rake his litter box like a Zen Garden."

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"

"Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years."

"If I could be any enzyme It would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

"You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?"

"""Sir, it appears the bomb was hidden in the Japanese man's beer!"" ""Looks like the killer... BREW his mind."""

"toilet issues why did the dutch man have to get off the toilet? because it was all clogged up!"

"What did the politicians say after taking a huge bong hit? ""What's Allepo?"""

"How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't see the point and just sit in the dark."