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Joke of the Day

"There was this group on Facebook called Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat'. So I became a fan."

"I once met an ape who could use both hands... He was Harambedextrous."

"You Can't spell ADVERTISEMENTS without semen between the tits!"

"Bandwagon fans make me so mad, I've hated Benghazi for decades"

"I don't mind getting the stink-eye when I say, ""Happy Whatever Holiday You're Weirdly Touchy About,"" because THAT is the spirit of Whatever."

"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."

"What's the difference between a Slut and a Bitch? A Slut sleeps with everyone A Bitch sleeps with everyone, except you."

"So I just listened to Kanye's album... Dafuq?"

"Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison."

"I'm working on my second million, since I failed so much at the first."