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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison."

"Why can't Chinese people eat Swans? They don't have a Pitchfork. (This is a music reference joke)"

"It's colder than..."

"What does star trek and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons' s"

"knock knock whos there?"

"The 2016 US Presidential Election That's it. That's the entire fucking joke. Edit: Woke up to hundreds of messages and FP status. Damn. Thanks, folks! And thanks for the gold!"

"What would a character from the Star Wars universe shout before a suicide bombing? ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"

"When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee That's a moray."

"What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica? A BIPOLAR BEAR"

"I saw a flock of angry ducks the other day. I wonder why they were in such a fowl mood."