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Joke of the Day
"I'm working on my second million, since I failed so much at the first."
Next Joke
"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"
"Fruit Blast Once a banana asked the apple,""why do everyone cut and eat you?"" The apple replied,""then why do everybody remove your clothes and eat you???!!!"""
"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.Dre"
"Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder"
"The only reason I eat corn... Is so I can see it come out the next day"
"What do you call 2000 mockingbirds? Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)"
"My suicide notes just keep turning into grocery lists."
"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"
"Orion's Belt? A Waist of Space."