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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, ""Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

Next Joke
 
"4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby"
"Son, do we have any dopted? Son: What is a dopted? Dad: You are! Son: Ha ha funny one dad.(Sarcastically) Dad: I'm not your dad!"
"I hate when people share opinions without being asked."
"I've seen in war movies where women have to smother their crying babies to get them to be quiet so how come never on an airplane?"
"What are children generally better at then adults? Giving the pope an errection"
"What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle? I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru."
"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only Never mind. Batman's here."
"ke$ha gets caught in the currency exchange market she is now ke0.77ha"
"If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa ""I'm a Slave 4 U"" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real."