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Joke of the Day

"Cute Pirate Joke What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Well, you might think that it'd be Arrrrby's, but they are actually quite fond of Long John Silvers."

"I've been doing so much cardio that I'm going to have a heart attack And my hearts gonna win."

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"""I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what's been missing from my life"" - No girl, ever."

"""Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!"" -my 12yr old"

"If there's enough room to spell 'bootylicious' on the back of your shorts, it probably isn't."

"Books keep falling on my head.... I've only got myshelf to blame"

"My child-free blog is attracting a ton of pedophiles. It's called ""Fuck Kids""."

"how are a silver medalist and a priest alike They both came in a little behind"

"You might think the cock and balls are similar. But there's a vas deferens between them."