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Joke of the Day

"""Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!"" -my 12yr old"

"I hate autocorrect I texted my grandma saying ""Sex tonight"". I meant tomorrow"

"I fostered a child the other day ...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!"

"Why don't men install urinals in their houses? Their wives just wouldn't stand for it :)"

"Oral Sex: A taste of things to come"

"""I see"" said the blind man pissing into the wind... ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"I know why I study with the blinds closed. The reason awful, ghastly... I shutter to think"

"I've got a chicken proof lawn It's impeccable"

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"Why are you so fat? Because I eat a lot of pussy"