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Joke of the Day

"""I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what's been missing from my life"" - No girl, ever."

"What's the difference between a rhinoceros and a mattababy? [Works every time] What's a mattababy? Nothing what's a matta with you"

"What's a Londoner's favorite seafood? King's Crustacean."

"[Cat Businessmen] ""Geez, Phil, you look exhausted. Being a new father is tough, huh."" *sighs* I only got 16 hours of sleep last night."

"Whats the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer? The taste."

"What do mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake. They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice."

"Just watched a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14"

"REAL '90s kids will recognize this! ---> Current unemployment."

"I knew someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K."