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Joke of the Day

"I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn't like it. So I choose not to post it this time around Edit: Thanks for the 1000 upvotes this time guys! ( Edited when I only had 27)"

"[At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal"

"Two bitches walk into a bar. The bartender says there's a collar for both of you."

"Gandolf here, TIFU by letting the Seahawks pass"

"BABY COW: [points at human] What's that? OLDER COW: That is a milk dracula"

"I dated a guy in a band for two months before I realised he was just a sexy mop."

"What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high? The electrician knows where the ground is."

"What's the difference between a black guy and a pile of dog shit?? eventually the dog shit turns white and stops stinking."

"As I looked at myself naked in the mirror I thought to myself... I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea in a minute."

"Broccoli is like sex If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult"