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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a black guy and a pile of dog shit?? eventually the dog shit turns white and stops stinking."

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? You have now! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I'msosorry"

"Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, ""Christ speaking"", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome."

"Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like ""WHY is this shit still here?"""

"What do you call a kind rock Gneiss"

"why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway"

"CALL AN AMBULANCE!? NO WAY! that old lady is DEFINITELY unconscious. here, go start my car. I'm gonna go wipe the prints off our frisbee."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU WASN'T THERE!"

"A little boy wrote a letter to Santa stating he wanted a little sister The next day he got a letter from santa saying: Ok send me your mother"

"PATIENT: my stomach is killing me, doc DR DOG: I've got just the thing for you *hands him a prescription bottle filled with grass*"