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Joke of the Day

"Camper: Is it easy to milk a cow? Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it."

"My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack."

"Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise."

"Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop."

"Where is everybody? Everybody? I don't know. All over the planet I guess."

"I am Ahmed Mohamed AMA! Wow that blew up fast!"

"The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn."

"CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them"

"What do you call a psychic who simply doesn't care? Telapathy"

"I don't know why everyone's complaining about chip card readers. I have bad credit."