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Joke of the Day
"I want a job cleaning mirrors It's something I could really see myself doing."
Next Joke
"Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes"
"My friend said he knew of a way to always win in Russian roulette I can't tell you what it was, but let's just say... My mind was blown"
"I like my slaves like I like my coffee: Free."
"You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again"
"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"
"What's the difference between a girl's track team and a village of pygmies? One's a bunch of cunning runts....."
"What's white on top and black on bottom? Society!"
"What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles? Heir mail"
"Girl you make me feel like a Galaxy S7 Cause I want to explode in your pants."