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Joke of the Day

"Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of ""impersonating a police officer""."

"What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito? Deeeeeeeeeeengue"

"Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips"

"A Mexican plays uno, And steals all the green cards.."

"What's the difference between racism and the chinese people? Racism has many faces..."

"Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits."

"A man walks into a schizophrenia hospital He says ""there's a lot of people in here"" To which a nurse replies ""get here you!"""

"Why did Mario lose a life? He stubbed his MiyamoToe. ...I'll see my way out."

"There are two things that never work Month old condoms and voting for a third party. (That being said, I'm fucking terrified)"

"Me: Who's a good boy? Dog: I thought we settled this."