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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on? steer clear"

"So I was sentenced to death by hanging... but my execution is being suspended temporarily."

"You know why the undertaker was fired? He made a grave mistake."

"Hooker to customer: ""I will do anything for you for $500"". Customer says incredulously: ""ANYTHING?"" Hooker: ""Sure"" Customer: ""Meet me at my house on Friday, I want you to -"" ""paint my house."""

"If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar..."

"What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song? The Sound of Sirens"

"Why couldn't the t-rex clap? Because he's dead."

"I have a love/hate relationship with mood swings."

"Hey movie villains make a bomb where the wires are all one color."

"So this is weird: I bent over to pick up a cashew & a bunch of hot, scented air rushed out of my bottome-hole, making a curious noise."