124579

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the t-rex clap? Because he's dead."

"If a rooster lays an egg on a triangular roof, which side does it roll down? Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!"

"Doctor Care to his patients. Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"A screwdriver walks into a bar... The Bartender says, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Sarcasm is like hitting someone in the face with a bat, but with words."

"My girlfriend is a bit like water.. She's H2O without the 2."

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"(NSFW) A pedophile and a little boy walk into the woods.. The boy says ""it's really dark out here, I'm scared."" The pedophile looks at him and says ""you're scared?! I have to walk back alone!"""

"What do you call an Italian guy wearing a flourescent track suit? A DayGlo Dago"

"I took a blind taste test today Turns out they taste just like regular people"