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Joke of the Day

"A World War II joke What was the German Shepard's defense at his Nuremberg trial? ""I was just following odors."""

"[boarding plane with really old pilot] ""think his heart will hold out? lol"" attendent: excuse me, sir? ""depart out, what time do we leave?"""

"People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them."

"Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist ""LET'S GET DIVORCED"""

"My friend David lost his ID recently. Now we just call him Dav."

"Clowns divorce. Custardy battle."

"Desire to not get beat up > Desire to wear a cloak"

"I've honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people"

"My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not."

"Where does Sean Connery keep his guns? In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense."