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Joke of the Day

"That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you."

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"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty vans..."
"Did you see the guy in Birmingham, Alabama trying to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."
"Did Noah include termites on the ark?"
"Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog"
"My wife asked me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said maybe."
"Jokes about communism are funny... Unless you share them with everybody"
"Want to hear a joke about construction? Sorry, it still isn't finished yet."
"Hey girl, are you a grape? Because you are raisin my dick"
"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"