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Joke of the Day
"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"
Next Joke
"*getting murdered* Oh, wow, this is totally clearing my sinuses"
"With what do Mexicans use to cut pizza? Little Ceasars"
"In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like them so much 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement and 82% just like the peace and quiet."
"Can someone call me right now? I'm at the dog park and my ringtone is a doorbell."
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy"
"What does a nosy pepper do? He get jalepeno business."
"The Jonestown cult survivor was never any good at jokes. He always missed the punchline."
"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Candidate: ""Honesty."" Interviewer: ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" Candidate: ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""
"Before we hang out, please be advised I will be spending the rest of the summer talking like Bane."