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Joke of the Day

"Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker."

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"If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say... Orange is the new Black. Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to."
"Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don't want her to meet her competition right away."
"Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy."
"If you replaced Odysseus with Oedipus.. ..would a long series of journeys or wanderings be known as an Oedipussy?"
"Why was the 6 month old Nigerian unhappy? He was having a mid life crisis."
"What is the only animal in the world that can't get hogh A fish"
"Question: What goes up and never comes down? Answer: Up"
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent ""p"""
"What do rednecks do on halloween? Pumpkin"