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Joke of the Day

"Saw an accident on the highway today that made me feel like a short-sighted man in a strip club... I couldn't see much but there was definitely a semi involved."

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"Whats the problem with tainted money? It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win? :D)"
"Dear Cool People, they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Love, Nerds."
"How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it is going to about 7 episodes."
"I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride."
"Why did the robot become a museum curator? Because he was an Art-Offical Intelligence"
"""If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."" -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge"
"What type of pants does Mario wear? Denim, denim, denim."
"The Last Contango in Paris Commodities Exchange."
"Snow Ain't the problem Isis"