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Joke of the Day

"What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe? I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard."

Next Joke
 
"Me: I wouldn't miss it for the world. Friend: It was yesterday."
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. hey-yo!"
"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""
"How does every racist joke start? By looking over your shoulder"
"Divorce is tough on some kids Others are just happy to be single again."
"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."
"Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a ""romcom"" so I'm going to assume she means ""Roman Combat"" and put on Gladiator."
"Not sure what to watch tonight.... American Horror Story on FX or the one on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, CNBC and MSNBC."
"I don't want to sound too impressive, but my Sims character gets laid PRETTY FREQUENTLY."