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Joke of the Day

"If Chuck Norris catches you writing jokes about him, he'll smash your face into the keyjhesreqdzsf"

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"If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants."
"A wizard walks into a gay bar... ...And disappears with a poof."
"i bet when Kid Rock invented rap, people were like ""No! This is nonsense!"" but he (in typical Kid fashion) was like ""F*ck you're rules! """
"What do Asians do when they have an erection? They vote."
"Ladies... If you want guys at the bar to leave you alone don't tell them you have a boyfriend cause men don't care about that. Tell them you have a p*nis."
"Bono from U2 is the voice of my car's GPS It sucks. The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for."
"Stop looking at row numbers in first class. That's not where you sit."
"It's 4AM and I roll out of bed. My eyes bloodshot. I haven't slept in weeks. What the hell holds up those blocks in Mario?"
"I'm a man of my word... and that word is ""unreliable"""