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Joke of the Day

"Ladies... If you want guys at the bar to leave you alone don't tell them you have a boyfriend cause men don't care about that. Tell them you have a p*nis."

"I'm really good at making women laugh out loud When they see me naked for the first time..."

"A large amount of stormtroopers walk into a bar and orders drinks They all miss the free shots."

"I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not even an actor."

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"I asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the vodka Turns out he was my spirit guide."

"I used to be in a band called Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters."

"Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate for Secretary of Low Energy."

"What did the woman say while she was having a baby? ""This could use some salt."""

"MAMA DUCK, BABY DUCK Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling? A: ""If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."""