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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day; Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy."

"A bicycle can't stand on its own. . . . . because it is two-tired."

"How do scaredy-cats answer the phone? Yellow?"

"I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers. Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline."

"If you whisper, ""we're being watched,"" you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days."

"listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk"

"Chemically speaking, alcohol is a solution."

"The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun"

"Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it."

"I discovered recently that I can cut wood just by looking at it It's true I saw it with my eyes"