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Joke of the Day

"So I saw my mother-in-law getting beaten up by six guys ""Aren't you going to do something?"" My wife asked. ""Nah, six should be enough."" (Les Dawson)"

"My week is just five days of wishing I had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing I had something to do."

"Why can't Sweden win a race? Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line"

"I felt like dancing after mixing cheap rye with powdered orange drink I called it my Whisky Tang-o Foxtrot. Seriously, WTF was I thinking?"

"I went to a General Store the other day. Couldn't find anything specific."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."

"What's the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul."

"What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts."

"Hawaiians were never known to be cannibals. Maybe a nibble here and there... You know, finger food."

"I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week... we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!"