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Joke of the Day

"Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car."

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"What do you...... What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator."
"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar The bartender asked, ""why the long face?"""
"I used to be a banker But I lost *interest*"
"Taxidermist's Wife: Whatcha thinkin' about? Taxidermist: Stuff."
"[fixing your car stereo] Ah here's the problem [ejects Pitbull CD]"
"Christmas Presents To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."
"A police officer goes to investigate an artist's death... His report details it as being ""pretty sketchy."" I'll leave now..."
"what do you call a red head's problem? a ginger ail"
"[first date] GIRL: When you said ""fitness freak"" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo"