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Joke of the Day

"When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers."

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"Why was the astronaut so sore? He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid."
"What do you call a midget prostitute? A lowrider"
"One time I walked in on my brother, masturbating. We locked eyes for what felt like forever. Then he yelled, ""Why the hell are you masturbating!?"""
"Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face."
"I'm learning about imaginary numbers... I can finally plot my sex life."
"Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh."
"Totally Original Joke What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a maltese shih tzu? An abortion."
"i just foumd out that humpty dumpty is suposed to be an egg. nowhere in the humpty dumpty poem does it say that humpty dumpty is a egg"
"I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino."