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Joke of the Day

"I have just read an interesting dictionary. It had literally no metaphors. I'll ^show^myself^out..."

"Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? To see how long he slept."

"Why don't ghosts have kids? Because they have Hollow-Weinies"

"What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew."

"What do you call a Russian man with three testicles? Mr. Whodyounickabollockov"

"I almost got ran over by joggers. I saved myself by pretending to be a stop light. I got away while they jogged in place."

"Maybe it's karma that I stepped in gum after all the times I've spit mine out on sidewalks. Didn't stop me from keying the nearest car."

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."

"My GF's boobs are pretty odd. I sometimes wish she'd just have 2 of them instead of 3."

"How many PETA member does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesnt matter. PETA cant chqnge anything!"