86969

Joke of the Day

"Wherever you go, hold your head high like you actually did something with your life at some point. It fools most people."

"So they've announced Taken 3..... So they've announced that they're making a Taken 3. I'm starting to think that Liam Neeson's very particular set of skills are a bit shit!"

"How do Australians clean their ass after pooping? Bidet, mate!"

"Her lips were saying ""no""..... But her eyes were saying ""read my lips""...."

"Any one want to get a Helen Keller thread going? What do you do after you rape Helen Keller? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Twinkie? Twinkies can cause a national upset."

"I'm late to this meeting cause I have a boner and can't get out of my car"

"How does a mathematician solve his constipation problem? He works it out with a pencil! = "

"Money's short"

"Your honor I object! That other lawyer is saying stuff that makes my client look guilty"