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Joke of the Day

"What's annoying about going 90 in a school zone? The screaming speed bumps"

"What do you call a dehydrated French man? Pee Air"

"Why couldn't the life guard save the hippy? Because he was too far out"

"<gets on elevator > Pushes all the buttons Hugs everyone Prays out loud that we're not going to die Gets off at the 2nd floor Laughs"

"How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count? The girl has to chew before she swallows."

"Why did Jon Snow need a new battery? For the watch."

"What did Harry Potter say when his waiter gave him the wrong drink? ""Sir, when I buy patron I EXPECTO PATRONUM!"" (Hauls ass towards the exit)"

"I run a support group for sex addicts They're all in the other room sitting in a circle... OH MY GOD"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side"

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."