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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count? The girl has to chew before she swallows."

"My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays"

"Note: When you cut jeans into shorts, remember to wear the top half, not the bottom half. lol. these denim calf warmers tickle my legs."

"My life is a constant struggle between wanting people to text me and never wanting to reply to texts."

"I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell out of a guard tower."

"I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by thetime I got my tights on.... the class was over!"

"Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans."

"You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal."

"What does the daddy gun have when he becomes a father? A bb gun."

"Snooki doesn't like her nickname. OK. What's another name for a drunken slut? Damn. Paris Hilton is already taken."