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Joke of the Day

"A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says ""Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"" ""Son you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."""

"Did you hear about how they spotted a Nazi in the sea? It's okay, it's just adolfin"

"I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago Since then my muggings have been much more successful."

"If the employees in your human resources department were all very into Aleutian sea birds. . . Around Christmas time, everyone would be sending HR Puffin Stuff."

"Wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it."

"Whats the worst thing about dating a terrorist? Doesn't matter if you come or not, they're getting blown anyway. Thought up this at work"

"What is the most common pickup line in a gay bar? Can I push in your stool?"

"What's a statistician's favorite form of art? Data-ism"

"Me: I need to lose my baby weight. Diet coach: Awww, how old is your youngest? Me: Thirteen."

"Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don't even know it."