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Joke of the Day
"When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy Story so that they knew I was on to them."
Next Joke
"How did Aladdin die? Carpet bombing."
"""I'm sorry"" and ""my bad"" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral."
"Who's your favorite comedian? Friend: who's your favorite comedian Me:Donald Trump Friend:why? Me:Everybody knows Donald trump is a joke"
"A German tourist in France. A German tourist arrives at a French airport. Immigration officer asks him: ""Occupation?"" The German replies: ""No, no, just visiting."""
"Hi I'm 37 yrs old. According to folklore, I've swallowed 259 spiders, 47 moths, 3 coyotes, and a grizzly bear in my sleep since I was born."
"Pretty sure my first black friend was ""The Wire."""
"Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation"""
"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."
"""If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace"" (from the back) He saw Creed live in 2003"