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Joke of the Day
"How did Aladdin die? Carpet bombing."
Next Joke
"I drink to forget... my alcoholism."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if their was a dog."
"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"
"So my dad dropped this on my mom this morning Mom - ""You know the neighbor always kisses his wife every morning before work. Why don't you do the same?"" Dad - ""How can I? I barely know her!"""
"I guess you could say Mendeleev's Birthday comes around periodically."
"To the people who don't like me... suck it. To the people that do like me... same thing. "
"The Disturbing Reason Why the Chicken Crossed the Road Will Change Your Life Forever... ...It was good for traffic."
"Your daughter seems to have nice boyfriends. They all seem to be involved in community service."
"With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was. I said JFK, because he's so open-minded."