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Joke of the Day

"Two atoms walk into a bar. The first one turns to the other and says ""I think I've lost an electron!"" The second one goes ""Are you sure?"" To which the first one replies ""I'm positive."""

Next Joke
 
"Why did he cross back? So he could charge the client for travel expenses."
"If you slept with my husband I'd be like ""OMG how much do I owe you?"""
"What kind of shoes does a thief wear? Sneakers."
"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"
"my wife made me a birthday cake She complained it didn't look anything like Nigella's at all. I told her that's OK, since she doesn't look anything like Nigella either."
"Why don't pedophiles ever win marathons? They're always coming in a little behind."
"f u cn red ths yu meb b dislxic rely"
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick in your girlfriends ass!"
"You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching."