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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It was driving down the road when it turned into a field."

"If you enjoy sitting around and doing nothing, I'm your girl."

"I'm going to save my resolution for 2015, I think I want to be an asshole for another year."

"How many German does it take to take down a plane? One. Because he's very efficient and silent while doing it."

"How does the redneck's wife know that her daughter is pregnant? her son's dick tastes like shit."

"How do IT technicians prefer to be paid? Cache in hand."

"Why are so many Germans into scat? Because they appreciate the creativity and artistry of Ella Fitzgerald, and enjoy listening to her music..... while pooping on each other."

"Soccer player calls his wife after a game... Player: ""I scored two goals!!"" Wife: ""Great! What was the end scored?"" Player: ""1:1"""

"I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg"

"I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil."