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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to save my resolution for 2015, I think I want to be an asshole for another year."
Next Joke
"Where does Arnie sit at the movies? Aisle B - Back."
"Girls pants are like a cheap hotel... ... no ballroom."
"A pair of identical twins... ... on opposite banks of a river. One says ""I wish I was on that side of the river."" The other replies ""You are."""
"Everyone's all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman's fighting Superman in 2016."
"Whats the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scottish man The Rolling Stone says, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud."" and the Scottish man says, ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe."""
"Yawning Is our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining"
"How to give your woman 12 inches and make her bleed. Bang her twice and punch her in the mouth."
"Dad got his son a birthday card A dad got his son a bday card that said ""Holey cow! It's your birthday!"" And it had a picture of a cow with holes in it."
"When the professor starts off the semester asking ""Why are you here?"" So I can get a job."