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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great!"

"What does Bill Clinton say when he is having anal sex with Hillary Clinton? I'm fucking Hillary-ass (hilarious)"

"I stopped fighting my inner demons; We're totes BFFs now."

"When I see someone laughing to themselves in public, I love to imagine what they're thinking about, even though deep down I know: it's memes"

"Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to"

"Did you know that the word ""suns"" upside down is still ""suns""?"

"Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze"

"Def Leppard are a bunch of liars. I poured some sugar on a girl one time and it was a complete mess, she was not happy at all."

"How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb? None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!"

"Where do religious cattle go to eat? Out to pastor."