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Joke of the Day
"I think this belongs here. Mitt Romney"
Next Joke
"What do u call a gay dinosaur? A mega-sore-ass"
"When an ad says critics are ""raving"" over a movie, I picture them all in a dark warehouse twirling glowsticks & giving each other back rubs."
"Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words ""gruesome discovery"" coming from your TV on the morning news."
"Interviewer: Any special skills? Me: Eclairvoyance. Him: I don't understand. Me: There's a box of donuts in your desk Him: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH"
"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"
"If money can't buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?"
"I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up"
"When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell ""Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!"" Respect my privacy."
"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."