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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip."

"Me: NO! Him: What? I haven't even said anything Me: Oh, you looked like you were about to"

"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions? I do."

"Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco."

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Cause it wasn't born yesterday."

"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? Glue."

"Do you know why George Washington 's father forgive him? Because Washington still holding the axe"

"Before i was born, i was given two choices 1. Have a large penis but suffer from memory loss. 2. Have a tiny penis but be very smart and remember everything. I do not remember which option i took."

"What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle? Khaki"