96312

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris easily won the Iditarod dog sled race by pulling a sled load of 16 dogs, 800 pounds of supplies and with a dead sperm whale chained behind it."

"Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking!"

"On its wedding night, why did the jungle cat have sex with the hotel receptionist? It was a fast cheetah"

"Did you hear there was a nuclear explosion in space this morning?! Most people call it the sun. Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them."

"What brown, steams, and can be found under a piano stool? Beethoven's last movement."

"Dad, who's Daniel Day-Lewis? *Dad peers out the blinds* He could be anyone, son. *Mom starts weeping* He could be anyone."

"My husband is turning 58 tomorrow. Join me wishing him ""Jesus, you're how old?"""

"I'm in trouble with my wife. I totally forgot her special birthday' that was such a big deal apparently. Still, everything went fine and it was a healthy baby boy!"

"Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?"