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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and dead all over?"

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"I just dumped a pair of conjoined twins. I said, ""It's not you, it's you."""
"What's the capital of Greece? Right now about $2.55 AUD."
"Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree? It was taped."
"How many non-compliant Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nein!"
"INTERVIEWER: what do you consider your greatest strength ME: ... INTERVIEWER: ... ME (38 minutes later): I'd say promptness"
"Bras come in sizes = AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, OMG, WTF."
"Almost all of the guys I drafted for my fantasy football team are football players which I think was a smart move"
"What doesn't kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger."
"Grapes.. What did the green grape say to the purple grape?.. BREATHE IDIOT, BREATHE."