86476

Joke of the Day

"Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me."

"Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her."

"Ever hear about the worst international trade deal ever? It was tarifful..."

"What's the Difference between 3 dicks and a Joke? Your mom can't take a joke"

"[morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends...are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no"

"Abortion clinics are awful. But their smoothies are to die for."

"A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base."

"My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord."

"I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said ""open cap and push up bottom"". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome."

"What's brown and sticky? Seriously. Guess."