86439

Joke of the Day

"The inauguration is today... Trump: Unprecedented Obama: Un-Presidented"

"Waitress: need anything else? Me: yes, a cup of black coffee. W: and how would u like your coffee? M: uhhh..black and in a cup?"

"You're never gonna believe this, but I feel negatively about the day of the week when I have to stop relaxing and resume working."

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb? ""In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."""

"Wife said since she got bangs she misses her eyebrows. I told her to think of her bangs as one big eyebrow. I shouldn't talk anymore."

"What are the people from the country Lesbia called? Lesbians"

"Rave culture: A professor rushes two of his students to the maternity ward and says to the doctor... ""Brah! My pupils are super dilated right now!"""

"Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder, ""Do my children just spit directly at their face when brushing their teeth?"""

"I took a bus in Thailand And I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl. All I could think to myself was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection""... but she did."