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Joke of the Day

"Just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon I'll be sure to let you know which one wins so we can settle this once and for all."

Next Joke
 
"I have two requests for my funeral 1) be scattered at Disney Land 2) not to be cremated"
"When I have kids I'm gonna tell them drugs are good for them. It's the only way I can be sure they won't try them."
"What's the difference between a Bitch and a Slut? A Slut fucks everyone. A Bitch fucks everyone but you."
"My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee"
"Why did princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."
"What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his drink before it was cool"
"How Swift is Kanye? About as West as Taylor"
"My phone got married last week. The service was good despite the lousy reception."