216693

Joke of the Day

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"Regarding hungergames mockingjay Who is jay? and why are they always mocking him?"

"I like my women like my heroin Smuggled in a tiny box from South East Asia"

"There is no doubt in my mind, I would trade my ovaries for another liver."

"Why did the chicken cross the bridge? To get away from the Turkey coop."

"What do you call a bad ass phone that doesn't work? Off the hook. (It's stupid but I did make it up)"

"What did the male titanic say to the female titanic? Nothing he just broke the ice."

"Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX"

"Doctor: are you sexually active. Me: I'm not even physically active"

"I just found out that my UPS guy is a monkey... ...and he's driving me bananas!"