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Joke of the Day

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"I never shower. No hobo."

"The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray."

"Want to hear my tribute to Elvis? Thanks, Elvis."

"What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !"

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash? There were Poles on the right half of the plane."

"Men are not sexist Because being sexist is wrong and being wrong is what women do."

"[SPEED DATING] HER: Hi, is this seat free? ME: By all means. HER: *drags chair across room ME: WTF? HER: *laughing, sits with another couple"

"Did you hear they're making a holistic version of Star Wars? It's based on darth vadar's holistic brother, Ayur Veder."