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Joke of the Day

"A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'"

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"What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service."
"Every time this gets RTed a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin."
"I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first."
"A depressed French baker sobs bitterly into the dough... His life is pain."
"What is Captain Ahab's favorite reggae band? Bob Marley and The Whalers!"
"At the ripe old age of 900, in a universe inhabited by thousands of alien races, I bet Yoda had some pretty racist shit to say."
"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I dont jelly my dick down your throat."
"What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn? Acidic. [My apologies]"
"What stopped the beaver's crime spree? The damming evidence"