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Joke of the Day

"What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"

"Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card."

"I'd like to die in my sleep like my grandpa Comfortably, unlike the rest of the people in his car"

"Hear about cannibal... ... who was ate before he was seven?"

"I always use a short cut when I'm going to knife fight a midget."

"What's the programmer's favorite drug? A line of code."

"If a tattoo artist... If a tattoo artist does an absolutely perfect tattoo on only one butt cheek, is that still considered a half-ass job?"

"What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu? one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry."

"A son goes to his parents and says ""Mom, Dad... I'm gay."" The Dad immediately responds. ""HI GAY, I'M DAD."""

"*slams table WHY DID VILLAINS FROM SCOOBY-DOO ASSUME THEY'D GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IF NOT FOR MEDDLING KIDS THEY GOT CAUGHT BY A STONED DOG"