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Joke of the Day

"So a lady with Parkinson's orders a grande decaf peppermint soy latte no whip and I forgot to put the lid on."

"What do Islamist extremists eat for breakfast? French toast"

"New study finds that everyone you disagree with is like so, so stupid."

"""Based on a true story"" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people."

"Gabe Newell! Gabe Newell lived from 1962 until Half-Life 3, confirmed!"

"How to lose weight - Doctor, I'm fat, how do I lose weight? - Just move your head from left to right and from right to left. - How many times , doctor ? - Every time someone offers you food."

"Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker? He wrote ""1 + 0 = 0"" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out..."

"What do you call a toilet seat that's missing the left side? Half-assed. (please forgive me, first time)"

"Get AIDS from a toilet seat A patient says, Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat? The doctor replies, Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up."

"What kind of Bees make milk? Boobies."