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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If someone brings in home baked goods to say goodbye after being let go, don't eat them. I used laxatives."

"A kleptomaniac goes to see her doctor. She says, ""Doctor, my condition has worsened. Is there anything I can take?"""

"The victims of the Aurora movie theater shooting got really ripped off. They paid to watch the whole movie, but all they saw were a few clips."

"I had Taylor Swift in my head all day... ...I just shouldn't shake her off, shake her off..."

"What borders stupidity? Canada and Mexico."

"How are a hobo and a balloon alike? Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)"

"Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end"

"I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus"

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell"

"Am I an Angel A little Black Baby Dies and goes to heaven, he sees and angel flying and says ""God am I an angel?"" God looks down pats him on the head and says "" Nah Nigga you a bat"""